人与人之间应该平等沟通对还是错（一句话说清楚利益关系）

01

想要一句话把利益关系说清楚，太难了。我是辛辛苦苦地把饭菜做好了，带着满满的成就感把它们全端上桌子准备开餐。家人们左喊右喊都不来却各自忙各自的事，三请四邀都不来可把我的热情全部浇灭了，我该怎么办？我尝试过说，“快来吃饭啰，今天的这个菜很好吃哦”，也说过“赶快来吃饭了，再不来饭菜就要冷了”，还说过“吃饭了，都叫了好几遍了，再不来我就要发脾气了”，往往效果不佳。怎么说呢？这是一门技术活。

02

田柏楠有一个博文是这么描述他的经历的。疫情之后我对广东人又多了一些了解。那个时候我们楼下逆着垃圾分类的潮流，搞了个露天垃圾桶阵，全小区的垃圾都往这里倒，经常爆桶，我们楼的高层住户懒得走远，不怕脏。他在业主群里发了很多垃圾与传染病之间的关系的文章或介绍，根本没有用。他就换着法子去劝说。有天他说，他们楼风水南北通透是全小区最聚财的风水阵，现在门口垃圾桶阵把风水全坏了，影响全楼。后来突然冒出来很多人强烈要求消灭露天垃圾，当天就全楼有60%业主签了联名信去推动处理，最后就再也没有露天垃圾桶了。

垃圾分类

03

深圳的横岗眼镜城是全国出名的眼镜集散地。我们也是慕名而来，就为了配两副近视眼镜。这里的商户挺多的，从一楼到三楼每家商户都是卖眼镜的，只是品牌和品类不一样而已。我们两口子曾经来过这里，知道一些道道，故而我们直接选择去二楼找一些店面内很少客人光顾的便进去选眼镜。这一家没有其他客人，我们挑了很久最终选定了两副意向的眼镜。谈价的过程很艰难，但是我明显感受得出来店主想成交，但又不肯少价。他最后感觉快要没有办法守护自己的价格底线时，他开始打感情牌。他告诉我们说这眼镜成本多少，他卖的这副眼镜他只赚50元利润而已。我知道太太很想要买这副眼镜但又不太想买贵。于是对着店老板说，我听懂了你说卖一副眼镜赚不了多少钱也就50元利润而已，但是，我太太只关心买下这副眼镜实际她要出多少钱。所以呢，还是请店老板斟酌一下，毕竟有成交总比没有成交的好。然后，结果可想而知，老板同意让利一半让我们买下来。

学会砍价

04

雪丽在雷曼公司公司做品质管理工作7年并于去年离开，这是一个艰难的选择。后来她选择了方大公司继续做品质管理。她认认真真地对待每一天的工作，任何不清晰的质量问题她都会花时间从5W2H的角度去展开，然后想办法找资历更深更专业的同事来共同解决。试用期很轻松过了，她的上司曾予吾很喜欢这样的品质工程师，然而这天雪丽却提出离职。曾予吾花了一些时间同她谈了蛮久，原来她近些日子不开心与项目经理有理念上的冲突，再加上雷曼最近订单剧增想要劝她回去。曾予吾告诉她离开雷曼选择方大是她正确的选择，尽管薪资并不优越。在这里工作更有挑战，她这么用心的三个月工作马上就遇到了成长的台阶，越过了就代表她自己提升了。她以后还会遇到更多这样的机会，这是雷曼不可能给的，放弃了就等于重新回到原点，不值。一周后，雪丽大大方方的告诉曾予吾她想通了，表示乐意承接所有的这些挑战。

突破极限

05

质量就在我们身边。一句话说清利益关系，太难了。有一本书说，懂比爱更重要。沟通过程中，懂了才能说得清楚，说清楚了利益关系，我们所在乎的那些小疙瘩也就可以释然了。

ENGLISH VERSION

It is too difficult to make clear the interests in one sentence. I worked so hard to prepare the meal and put it on the table with a full sense of accomplishment. All the family members are busy with their own business while they don't show up. Not coming for three or four invitations really kill all my enthusiasm. What should I do? I tried to say, "Come to dinner, today's food is very delicious", also said "Come to dinner, or the food will be cold", also said "eat, have called several times, then I will lose my temper", often the effect is not good. How can I deal with it? It's a skill.

One of Tian's blog posts describes his experience this way. I learned a little more about Cantonese people after the epidemic. At that time, we went against the trend of garbage sorting downstairs and set up an open-air array of garbage cans. The garbage of the whole community poured here and often full fill the barrels. The upper floors of our building are too lazy to walk far and they are not afraid of the smell. He posted a lot of articles or introductions on the relationship between garbage and infectious diseases in the owners' group, which was of no use. He tried to persuade in other ways. One day he said, their building is the feng shui array where whole community gather wealth most here, and now the door of the trash can destroy the feng shui, affecting the whole building. Later, a lot of people suddenly came out and strongly demanded the elimination of open garbage. On the same day, 60% of the owners of the building signed a joint letter to promote the disposal. Finally, there was no open garbage can any more.

Henggang glasses city in Shenzhen is a famous glasses distribution center in China. We have come here for two pairs of myopic glasses. There are a lot of merchants here. From the first floor to the third floor, every merchant sells glasses, but the brands and categories are different. My wife and I directly choose to go to the second floor to find some shops that few customers patronize. There were no other guests in this house, and after a long selection we finally settled on two pairs of glasses we were looking for. The negotiation was difficult, but I could tell that the owner wanted to close the deal, but he was not willing to lower the price. When he finally felt that he could no longer protect his price floor, he began to play the emotional card. He told us how much the glasses cost, and he only made a profit of 50 yuan on the pair of glasses he sold. I know my wife really wants to buy these glasses but she doesn't want to buy them for it costs too much. So I said to the shop owner, I understand you said that selling a pair of glasses can not make 50 yuan profit, but my wife only care about the actual cost of buying this pair of glasses. So, please consider. After all, a deal is better than no deal. Then, predictably, the boss agreed to let us buy it at half the profit.

Sherry left Lehman last year after seven years in quality management. It was a tough choice. Later, she chose Fang Da Company to continue to do quality management. She takes every day's work seriously. She will spend time on any unclear quality problems from the perspective of 5W2H, and then try to find more qualified and professional colleagues to solve them together. The probation period passed easily. Her boss, Zeng Yuwu, liked such quality engineers very much. However, Sherry proposed to leave her job that day. Zeng Yume spent some time talking with her for a long time. It turned out that she was not happy these days and had a philosophical conflict with the project manager, and Lehman wanted to persuade her to go back because of the recent surge in orders. Zeng told her that she had made the right choice to leave Lehman, even if the pay wasn't good. Working here is more challenging. She has been working so hard for three months, and soon she has come to the step of growth. After passing the step, she will improve herself. She will meet more such opportunities in the future, which Lehman can not give her. Giving up is equal to back to the origin, which is not worth. A week later, Sherry graciously told Zeng that she had come to her mind and was willing to take on all the challenges.

Quality is all around us. In a word, it is too difficult to clarify the interests. There is a book that says that understanding is more important than love. In the process of communication, only after understanding, can you say clearly. After clearly understanding the interests, we can get free off those small pimples.

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