令我印象深刻的事搞笑文案（极其逗人的搞笑文案）

一，今天猫咪又在我的爱马仕包包上乱踩，一气之下我按了锁屏键

Today, the cat trampled on my Hermes bag again, and I pressed the lock screen button in a rage

二，每次长途旅行都有专车、专属司机接送我，朋友们属实羡慕，没办法，各种G、D、C、Z开头列车随意选

Every long-distance trip has a special car and an exclusive driver to pick me up. My friends are really envious. There is no way. All kinds of trains starting with G, D, C and Z can be selected at will

三，昨天降温了，收到了一个超暖讯息：“这个冬天有点冷，愿温暖与你常相伴”，瞬间被治愈！感谢app的日常推送

Yesterday, when the temperature dropped, I received an ultra-warm message: "It's a little cold this winter, and may warmth accompany you often", which was instantly cured! Thanks to the daily push of app

四，我爸不想让我自己在外面工作，担心我吃苦受罪，他想让我回来接管家族企业打理家族生意，可我实在不想命运早早的被安排，关键是这天儿摆地摊也忒冷了

My dad didn't want me to work outside, worried that I would suffer hardships. He wanted me to come back to take over the family business and take care of the family business, but I really didn't want my fate to be arranged early. The key is that the street stalls are also very cold this day.

五，新出的苹果买得迟了些，精致的年轻人就要在合适的年纪给自己最好的。毕竟这是水果店新进的一批水晶红富士，啊，真脆，真甜！

New apples are bought late, so delicate young people should give themselves the best at the right age. After all, this is a new batch of Crystal Red Fuji in the fruit shop. Ah, it's crisp and sweet!

六，当年北大有个保送的名额我没去，一来是离家乡太远思念家乡，二来是保送的不是我

I didn't go to Peking University when there was a place to walk. First, I missed my hometown too far away from my hometown. Second, it was not me who walked.

七，今天又拒绝了一个女孩子，不是她不够漂亮，而是她们公司的楼盘真的有点贵

Today, I rejected another girl, not that she is not beautiful enough, but that the real estate in her company is really a bit expensive

八，那些阿姨太热情了，总想把他们帅气多金的儿子介绍给我认识。各个不是住西式豪宅，就是中式园林，最普通的也有浦江观景楼。不知道哪家的保姆房，带独立卫生间呢？

Those aunts are so enthusiastic that they always want to introduce their handsome and rich sons to me. Each one lives in either a western-style mansion or a Chinese-style garden, and the most common one is the Pujiang Observation Building. I don't know which nanny room has a separate bathroom.

九，我今年23岁，北京三环两套房，几十万的包能摆满墙，可这些都不是我父母给我的，而是通过我的努力，做梦梦出来的

I am 23 years old, and I have two suites in Beijing's Third Ring Road. Hundreds of thousands of bags can be filled with walls, but these are not given to me by my parents, but through my efforts, I dreamed of dreaming.

十，有些人为了漂亮忍痛去整容，不像我，都不用整也可以很漂亮，因为我下载了很多美颜软件

Some people go to cosmetic surgery for beauty, unlike me, they can be beautiful without having to do it, because I downloaded a lot of beauty software

十一，好烦哦，总是有几千万用不掉，我问我朋友怎么办，我朋友因为嫉妒失去了理智，生气的说：“那你消消乐每局开始买个加三步的道具啊，这样很快就用完了”

It's so annoying. There are always tens of millions that can't be used up. I asked my friend what to do. My friend lost his mind because of jealousy. He said angrily, "Then you start to buy a prop with three steps in every game, so it will be used up soon."

十二，每天都有不同的男孩子从全城各个地方买我爱吃的东西送到我家，太幸福了，就是外送费有点贵

Every day, different boys buy my favorite food from all over the city and send it to my home. It's so happy, but the delivery fee is a bit expensive

十三，我站在999层高楼上俯瞰这华灯异彩的国际大都市，身边的男人戴着金丝眼镜，侧脸如鬼斧神工的刻刀雕刻，良久，他沉声说：“擦完玻璃就下班吧，阿姨”

I stood on a 999-storey building overlooking this splendid international metropolis. The men around me wore gold-rimmed glasses and carved their side faces with uncanny carving knives. For a long time, he said in a heavy voice, "Get off work after wiping the glass, aunt."

十四，每个人都在为一平方房价奔波，而我在上大学的年纪就可以在占地4百平的浴室里洗澡 ，果然这个点澡堂人少

Hey, because of the epidemic, I didn't go to Maldives for vacation this year …… in previous years, I had no money.

十五，我从来不喜欢买，中了也不过是500万而已。不中那可是损失2块钱啊

I never like to buy lottery tickets, and winning is only 5 million. If you miss, you will lose 2 yuan

十六，今天我又拒绝了2个男孩子，不是因为他们的声音不好听，也不是因为大冷天的他们等我的时间短，而是昨天我已经接过他们的传单了

Today, I turned down two boys again, not because their voices were not good, nor because they waited for me for a short time in cold weather, but because I had received their flyers yesterday

十七，我这边已经和男神确立关系了，但关系不是很牢固，毕竟有时候梦的到，有时候梦不到

I have established a relationship with the male god here, but the relationship is not very strong. After all, sometimes I dream, sometimes I can't dream

十八，今天路上有个特别好看的女孩子在茫茫人群中主动和我搭话了！“您好，麻烦让一下”

Today, a beautiful girl took the initiative to talk to me in the vast crowd! "Hello, excuse me."

十九，我回头率还挺高的，基本见到好看的人我都会回头看他们

I have a high rate of return, and I basically look back at good-looking people

二十，.这一天天可给我愁坏了，家里都是好吃的，也不知道吃点啥，是吃海鲜呢，还是吃牛肉呢，还是吃排骨呢，算了，还是吃老坛酸菜面吧

I'm worried sick every day. My family is delicious. I don't know what to eat, whether to eat seafood, beef or ribs. Forget it. Let's eat noodles with sauerkraut from the old altar

二十一，我的家庭地位无人能比，在家里想干嘛干嘛，谁也管不了，想扫地就扫地，想擦窗就擦窗，想做饭就做饭

My family status is unmatched. No one can control what I want to do at home. I want to sweep the floor, clean the windows and cook when I want to.

二十二，收到男友送的999朵玫瑰花，真的是太感动了！等下我就泡一点来喝

I was really touched to receive 999 roses from my boyfriend! I'll just make a little to drink later

二十三，刚从西餐厅出来，一位帅哥追过来送给我一个礼物，看着他转身离去的背影，嗯，儿童套餐果然值！

Just came out of the western restaurant, a handsome guy chased me and gave me a gift, watching him turn away. Well, the children's package was really worth it!

二十四，平时都不习惯出去吃饭，一般都是各地各种菜式的厨师做好了给我送过来，不送过来我一般都不吃，今天意外没吃上，手机摔坏没法点外卖了

Usually, I am not used to going out to eat. Generally, chefs of various dishes from all over the world have sent them to me. If I don't send them, I usually don't eat them. I didn't eat them today, and my mobile phone broke and I couldn't order takeout

二十五，终于收到清华大学的通知了，我其实不太想去的，觉得那配不上我，但我妈说那是她托了很多关系才帮我找的洗碗工作，让我不要辜负了她的苦心

I finally got the notice from Tsinghua University. I didn't really want to go. I didn't think it was good enough for me, but my mother said that it was the dishwashing job she helped me find after a lot of relationships. Let me not disappoint her painstaking efforts

二十六，好烦哦，每天早上起来打开衣柜就是这么多衣服，挑衣服真的很麻烦的呀。我也不想每天都只能穿新衣服，你们能懂很多衣服只穿过一次的痛苦吗？你们不懂，你们根本不懂，它们根本卖不出去呜呜呜

It's annoying. There are so many clothes when you get up and open the wardrobe every morning. It's really troublesome to pick out clothes. I also don't want to wear new clothes every day. Can you understand the pain of wearing many clothes only once? You don't understand, you don't understand at all, they can't be sold at all.

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