献给23岁还一事无成的自己（想回到十几岁的年纪）

小时候看的是诗词大会、最强大脑，梦想是考清华北大。

现在我长大了，每天在抖音看人赶海、沉浸式洗车和修驴蹄子，最大的梦想是能亲手挤一把猫眼螺。

这就是大人的世界吗？

When I was a child, I saw the poetry conference and the strongest brain. My dream was to test Tsinghua University and Peking University.

Now I grow up, I am shaking my voice every day, watching people rush to the sea, immersing car washing and repairing donkey hooves. The biggest dream is to squeeze a cat's eye snail tiktok with my own hands.

Is this the adult world?

以前觉得自己挺能吃苦的，许多很难的事情都是自己一个人熬过来了。

我还以为人会随着年龄增长而变得更加坚强呢，但是并没有。

越长大好像越是一点儿苦也吃不了了，完全就是一副让苍天知道我认输的状态，一遇到挫折就觉得自己真的不行了，振作不起来了。

I used to think I could bear hardships. Many difficult things were endured by myself.

I thought people would grow stronger with age, but they didn't.

The more I grow up, the more bitter I can't eat. It's completely a state of letting heaven know that I admit defeat. When I encounter setbacks, I feel that I really can't do it and can't cheer up.

我的脑子里曾经有很多奇思妙想，但随着年纪的增长，那些有趣但无用的念头大多都已长眠，仅存的一些也正在渐渐同质化，最后全都变成「如何才能搞到钱」的样子。

There were many wonderful ideas in my mind, but as I grew older, most of those interesting but useless ideas had gone to sleep, and the remaining ones were gradually homogenized. Finally, they all became like "how to get money".

想回到十几岁的年纪，告诉自己不要期待长大。

二十多岁的日子里没有鲜花，多的是呲牙咧嘴的洪水猛兽和失眠夜里的头昏眼花。

Want to go back to your teens and tell yourself not to expect to grow up.

In my twenties, there were no flowers. There were many monsters with grinning teeth and dizziness at night.

以前总觉得成年人很了不起，比如我妈妈。

明明在她身上发生过许多不好的事情，却还是很坚强，一点点把我带大，给我能力范围内最好的一切。

她不动声色地跟世界周旋着，好像不会累一样。

等到我自己长大，忽然明白，其实不是不想喊苦，而是知道喊了也没用。

当周围环境中没有什么助力，就只能靠自己撑下来。

I used to think adults were great, like my mother.

Obviously, many bad things have happened to her, but she is still very strong. She brought me up a little and gave me the best in my ability.

She quietly revolved around the world as if she wouldn't be tired.

When I grew up, I suddenly realized that it was not that I didn't want to cry bitterness, but that it was useless to shout.

When there is no help in the surrounding environment, you can only support yourself.

小时候爱逞强，只怕身边的同学朋友觉得我不行。

长大后就反过来了，恐惧被寄予期待，只想做一个与世无争的废材。

When I was a child, I was afraid that my classmates and friends around me thought I couldn't.

When I grow up, I turn the other way around. I'm afraid of being expected. I just want to be a waste material that doesn't compete with the world.

有时候真的会被自己蠢到，不知道到底还要吃多少亏才能变得聪明一点。

每次都觉得，下一次一定不能这样了，一定要避开这种坑，结果下次它变了个花样又来了。

人家举一反三，吃一堑长一智，我得吃了九九八十一堑才能长那么一智。

Sometimes I'm so stupid that I don't know how many losses I have to suffer in order to become smarter.

Every time I feel that I must not do this next time. I must avoid this pit. As a result, next time it changes a pattern and comes again.

People draw inferences from one instance and gain wisdom from one cut. I have to eat 9981 cuts to gain that wisdom.

小时候常常会幻想长大后的样子，长大之后又总是会幻想将来的生活。

但每走一步，就会发现，现实和想象的巨大差距。

没有人能一帆风顺，有期待，就注定会有失望。

When I was a child, I often imagined what I would look like when I grew up, and when I grew up, I always imagined my future life.

But every step, we will find that there is a huge gap between reality and imagination.

No one can be plain sailing, have expectations, is destined to be disappointed.

我们的成长历程中，真正能想通的事，其实并没有多少。

寻找自我的路上，我们会有不同的生活状态，会看到色彩斑斓的世界，也会遇到形形色色的人。

那些想不通的事，或许也有它想不通的理由。

我们的人生少有风风光光的时刻，更多的是漫长且平淡地向前走。

In our growth process, there are not many things we can really figure out.

On the way to find ourselves, we will have different living conditions, see a colorful world and meet all kinds of people.

Those things that can't be thought of may also have reasons why it can't be thought of.

There are few moments of wind and scenery in our life, but more long and plain forward.

【图源：苜暖】

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