婚姻关系中的幸福密码（通往幸福婚姻的五个密码）

萨古鲁 Isha

What’s the recipe for a happy marriage? Here are five important ingredients, from yogi and mystic, Sadhguru, that go into making a sweet, joyful and nourishing relationship with your spouse.

幸福婚姻的秘方是什么？以下是瑜伽士和神秘家萨古鲁给出的五种要素， 酿造你与另一半的甜蜜、愉快、滋养的关系。

#1 Take Two “Heartfuls” of Love#1 用两颗心的爱

The English expression, “Falling in love,” is significant because you don’t rise in love, you don’t fly in love, you don’t walk in love, you don’t stand in love. You fall in love, because something of who you are has to go. It essentially means someone else has become far more important than yourself. Only if you don’t think too much of yourself, you can be in love. When what you consider as “me” falls, a deep experience of love can happen within you.

英语表达“Falling in love（坠入爱里）”非常重要，因为你不会升入爱里，你不会飞入爱里，你不会走入爱里，你不会站在爱里。你坠入爱里，因为一些关于“你是谁”的东西必须消失。爱本质上意味着另一个人已经变得远远比你自己还重要。唯有当你不再过多考虑自己时，你才能在爱里。当你认为的“我”倒下了，爱的深入体验才会在你内在发生。

#2 Add a Liberal Dose of Understanding#2 加入大量理解

The closer the relationship with someone is, the more effort you should make to understand them. Someone becomes closer and dearer to you only as you understand them better. If they understand you, they enjoy the closeness of the relationship. If you understand them better, then you enjoy the closeness. If you are expecting the other to understand and comply with you all the time while you don’t understand the limitations, possibilities, needs and capabilities of that person, then conflict is all that will happen.

与某人的关系越亲近，你就应该越努力去理解他们。唯有当你更好地理解他人时，他们才会变成你更亲近和珍爱的人。如果他们理解你，他们会享受到这段关系的亲近感。如果你更好地理解他们，那么你会享受到这份亲近感。如果你总是期待他人理解和服从于你，而你却不明白对方的局限、可能性、需求和能力，那就只会发生冲突。

In everyone, there are some positive and some negative aspects. If you embrace all this in your understanding, you can make the relationship the way you want it. If you leave it to their understanding, it will become accidental. If they are very magnanimous, things will happen well for you. If not, the relationship will break up. It is not that the other person is totally bereft of understanding. With your understanding you can create situations where the other person would be able to understand you better.

每个人都有一些积极和一些消极的面向。如果你带着理解欣然接受所有的这些，你就可以把关系塑造成你想要的样子。如果你任由别人的理解力起作用，那关系的发展会成为偶然。如果他们非常宽宏大量，事情会顺你的意。否则，关系将会破裂。并不是他人毫无理解力。但用你的理解，你能够创造出让他人能够更好地理解你的情境。

#3 Work On It A Little#3 多用一点心经营

A marriage is not an absolute thing that you can do once and forget. It is an active partnership. Two separate people have chosen to come together for a common purpose and build a life together, live joyfully and multiply their wellbeing. Two human beings weaving their lives into one has a certain beauty.

婚姻不是一件一刀切的事，不是你做一次就不用管了的事情。它是动态的合作关系。两个独立的人为了一个共同目的选择走在一起共建生活、喜悦地生活，并且将他们的幸福翻倍。两个人将他们的生命交织为一体是一种美。

In Indian culture, a marriage was renewed once a year just to remind you why you came together. It is a fresh marriage again on that day. Otherwise, you think you have been stuck in this forever. No. You came together consciously, and you have to conduct it consciously too.

在印度文化里，婚姻每年会重新开始一次，就是为了提醒你为何你们会走到一起。在那一天又会是一段新的婚姻。否则，你会认为自己永远地深陷其中。不是这样的。你们有意识地走到一起，你也必须带着意识去经营它。

#4 Warm It Up With Some Joy#4 用一些快乐来升温

If relationships have to be really beautiful, it is very important that a human being turns inward and looks at himself in a very deep way before he looks at someone else. If you become a source of joy by yourself and your relationships are about sharing your joy, you would have wonderful relationships with anyone. Is there anyone in the world who would have any problem with you if you are going there to share your joy with them? No. If you want to experience the profoundness of being with another human being, your marriage should never be about you – it should always be about the other person. If both of you think like this, your marriage will not be an arrangement, it will be a union.

若要关系变得真正美丽，非常重要的是人要在审视他人之前，向内非常深刻地审视自己。如果你自己就是快乐的源泉，而且你的关系就是去分享你的快乐，那么你与任何人的关系都会很美好。如果你是去与他们分享你的快乐，世界上会有人对你有意见吗？不会。如果你想体验与另一个人相处的深邃，你的婚姻就绝不应该是关于你的——应该总是关于另一个人的。如果你们彼此都这么想，你们的婚姻就不会是一种约定，它会是一种结合。

#5 Offer It To Each Other#5 为彼此奉献

If your marriage is just a bundle of expectations about how to extract happiness out of someone who should make heaven for you, you will be disappointed. They say marriages are made in heaven. They say that because most people created a hell out of their marriage! If your relationship is about extracting something out of someone, it does not matter how much you manage, there will be constant trouble. But if your relationship was an offering to the other person, then everything would be fantastic.

如果你的婚姻只是一堆期待：有人为你编制天堂，并且从对方那里榨取幸福，你将会失望。人们说婚姻是天赐因缘。他们这么说是因为大多数人在他们的婚姻中造出了地狱！如果你的关系是要从他人那里榨取东西，那么不管你如何费神地管理，总会麻烦不断。但是如果你的关系是为对方奉献，那么每一件事都会棒极了。