单身不一定是寂寞（单身贵族没落寂寞寂寞就好）

欢迎点击上方↑"中国日报"↑免费订阅

中国独生子女政策的放宽标志着单身群体命运的重大转变。到了适婚年龄的单身族不再被称为单身贵族。结婚的压力正式到来。不久单身汉们可能会面临更坏的消息，比如韩国实施的所谓“单身税”。

The easing of China’s family planning policy marks a turnaround for thefate of one particular demographic. Singles of marriageable age are no longerrewarded for staying put at that status. The pressures to tie the knot are nowofficial and the foreseeable future may bring worse news, such as the so-called“singles tax” as adopted in South Korea.

韩国去年出台新税制，规定年龄在32至49岁之间且年收入在2000万至3000万韩元之间的未婚劳动者，每年需额外缴纳约合1000元人民币的附加税。这个消息传到中国后，旅韩的中国同胞还拿此事开玩笑（严格来讲，这不算是一种税，只是对单身族取消了其他人享有的一些税收优惠）。不管怎样，按中国社交媒体上的说法，这就是变相地“虐单身狗”。

When news from our neighbor reached us a year ago that singles aged 32-49and with a certain income level or above would have to pay the equivalent of1,000 yuan in additional tax, Chinese denizens jokedabout it. (Technically, it was not a tax, but the lack of qualification forsome tax benefits.) Anyway, it was a financial means to “abuse the single dog”in Chinese social-media parlance.

在中国的文化里，说某人是“狗”是一种侮辱。但“单身狗”这个流行语的兴起主要源于单身族的自嘲。类似的词还包括“屌丝”和“剩女”，这种词显然更轻蔑。单身族自己这么说也就算了，非单身族这么说不知道是否会变味，但我还是建议已婚或者有对象的人不要用这些词。

Now, calling someone a “dog” is an insult in Chinese culture. But “single dog”as a popular meme has been in vogue mainly as aself-deprecating term for this group. Overlapping coinages include “pubic hair”and “leftover women”, which are obviously more disparaging. I don’t knowwhether it’s the same as some ethnic slurs used by that ethnicity itself, but Iwould suggest those with spouses or regular dates refrain from the usage.

单身狗总会时不时地因旁人秀恩爱而受到伤害。随便一张晚上和别人出去玩的照片就可能引起单身狗的嫉妒。更不用说情人节或其他本该情侣间互送礼物、共进晚餐的日子了。单身狗大多时间是一个人，所以他们最显著的特质就是秒回信息。假设你给十几个人群发短信：“吃一顿去？”，如果有人两秒内回你：“（去）哪儿（吃）？”，那这个人绝对是条“单身狗”。

Single dogs are hurt by any reminder of peers sharing quality timetogether. An innocuous photo of a night on the town with someone else mightraise the green monster of envy. And forget about Valentine’s Day or anyoccasion when lovers are supposed to buy each other gifts or dinners. Singleshave much time to themselves, so the most salient quality is said to be alightning speed to respond to texting. Suppose you send out “Wanna grab abite?” to a dozen people. If you get a “Where?” in two seconds, that friend ofyours fits the bill as a card-carrying “single dog”.

中国的单身族们有这样的黑色幽默是好事。很多单身狗是拿自己开玩笑，因此不适合在本报刊登。下面的对话也许可以打个擦边球：

Good thing China’s bachelors and bachelorettes have developed a gallowshumor. Many of the jokes are at their own expense and not fit for print on thisnewspaper. The following conversation could be a borderline case:

单身男：“我妻子病了（经济不景气），我很难受。”

Bachelor: “I don’t feel good because my wife is ill.”

单身女：“我更难受。我老公（股市）崩（盘）了。你老婆怎么了？”

Bachelorette: “I’m even worse because my hubby has come down. Whathappened to her?”

单身男：“她紧缩（通货紧缩）了。你老公呢？”

Bachelor: “She’s deflated. And yours?”

单身女：“漏电了。”

Bachelorette: “A power leak.”

到目前为止，所有未婚的人所承受的社会压力都是来自于家庭和朋友。农历新年一到，所有回家探亲的小单身狗们都势必会受到年纪越来越大的父母无休止的唠叨，以及连孩子都已经上小学的发小带来的打击。但先别绝望。这些都不算最糟糕的。

So far, social pressure for those available for the institution comes fromfamily and friends. Come Lunar New Year, all the little puppies on home visitswould be hammered with non-stop nagging from ageing parents and childhoodfriends whose children are already in grade school. But don’t despair. It couldhave been worse.

2015年上映的欧洲黑色喜剧片《龙虾》描绘了一个反乌托邦的未来社会。在那里，单身的人会被送进一家“酒店”进行45天的“治疗”。如果在“治疗”期间没有找到匹配的伴侣，他们将被变成一种自己想变成的动物。主人公因为龙虾寿命长而选择变成龙虾。该电影也以此命名。

The 2015 European black comedy The Lobster is about an Orvillian future inwhich singles are put away in a hotel and given 45 days to find a romanticpartner. If they fail, they are turned into an animal of their own choosing.The protagonist chooses the lobster for its longevity, hence the title.

看了这部电影，我都可以想象到单身族会如何做出回击，捍卫婚姻自主权，并把婚姻描绘得如何堕落了。

Now I can imagine abacklash when singles fight for their rights to be on their own and marriage isdepicted as corrupting.