摩登家庭第一季英文字幕在线（摩登家庭第1季第4集中英文剧本台词字幕-看美剧学英语）

公号:易用美剧

杰 我回来了

Jay, I'm home.

曼尼打电话回来了吗

Did Manny call?

没 因为他啥事也没有

No, because he's fine.

他是去睡衣派对 又不是黑帮火拼

It was a slumber party, not a gang fight.

我只是想他融入集体

I just want him to fit in.

我要去冲个澡 你要一起来吗

I'm gonna take a shower. Do you care to join me?

宝贝 车库的小提箱里有一杆枪

You know, honey, there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage.

要是我哪天脑袋发昏拒绝和你共浴

If I ever say no to that question,

你直接一枪打死我吧

I want you to use it on me.

玛丽·马克小姐 马克马克

Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack.

- 穿成黑色 黑色黑色 -嘘 别出声

- All dressed in black, black, black. - Shh, shh.

- 怎么了 -银色扣子 扣子扣子

- What's wrong? - With silver buttons, buttons, buttons.

在她背上 背上背上

All down her back, back, back.

他们怎么不打架了

Why aren't they trying to hurt each other?

我也不知道 我震惊得都不敢动

I don't know, but I'm afraid to move.

- 你玩得真好 -谢谢

- You're really good at this. - Thanks.

克莱尔 这是怎么一回事啊

What is happening, Claire?

味道如何

What do you think?

绝对正宗的松饼啊

Now, that is a scone.

零黄油 无脂肪

No butter. Nonfat.

得瑟

Shut up.

我去看看莉莉

I'm gonna go check on Lily.

- 惊喜哦 -妈

- Surprise! - Mom!

怎么回事

What's that?

听起来像是有鸟撞上玻璃了

Sounds like a bird hit the window.

天呐 这是个凶兆

Oh, God. That's a bad sign.

很痛啊 混蛋

Ow! That hurt, jerk!

我要杀了你 你个白痴

Ow! I'm gonna kill you, stupid!

剧情峰回路转吗

What happened?

现在我郁闷了

Now I'm sad.

- 你好 宝贝 -你好 我...

- Hi, honey. Mmm! - Hi. I, uh-

我不知道你要来 你之前没给我打电话啊

I- I didn't know you were in town. You didn't call.

我等不及要见我的小孙女了 她在哪儿

Well, I couldn't wait to see your new baby. Where is she?

- 米奇尔 是谁啊 -是我妈

- Mitchell, who was that? - It's my mom.

你就使劲儿忽悠吧

Oh, yeah, right,

上回她来的时候

'cause the last time she was here,

冰箱门上的磁铁被摆成了五边...

the refrigerator magnets rearranged themselves into a penta...

真是奶奶啊

Grandma!

摩登家庭

第一季第四集

妈 你拽着她的脚干嘛呢

Mom. Mom, what are you doing to her legs?

打太极 我在塞多纳时每天都打

Tai chi. I did it every day in Sedona.

卡梅隆 你也该试试

Cameron, you should try it.

米奇尔的妈妈对我...

Mitchell's mother has a problem...

有成见

with me.

比如去年圣诞节

Last Christmas, for example,

她送了我一台健身器材和生菜烘干机

she gave me a piece of exercise equipment and a lettuce dryer.

问题的重点是

So, to recap,

我送给她的是一副华丽的钻石耳环

I gave her a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings,

她送的礼物却暗示我很肥

and she gave me a hint.

住在塞多纳让我改变了许多

And living in Sedona has been transformational.

我每天早上起床后 去参加冥想集会

I get up every morning, and I go to a Vortex meditation site...

在高僧的指导下

and work with a shaman to

终于参透精神世界的奥秘了

finally understand how to live my spirituality.

真棒

Yikes.

我领悟到

And I've learned that

让我的修行更上一层楼的唯一方法...

the only way I can move to the next level of my awakening...

就是要想办法...

is if we all can somehow...

克服...

get past...

那件事的阴影

the incident.

完了

Oh, no.

"那件事"

The incident.

不堪回首啊

Oh, boy.

我想恭喜杰和可爱的歌洛莉亚

I would like to congratulate Jay and the lovely Gloria.

杰&歌洛莉亚的婚礼现场

去年二月

我为他们感到高兴

I'm very happy for them.

我想和杰举办一次盛大的婚礼

I wanted a big, beautiful wedding with Jay...

因为我和我前夫的婚礼是在

because my ex-husband and I got married...

哥伦比亚一间很小的法官办公室里举办的

in a tiny little office of a judge in Colombia.

我妈妈想去参加婚礼

My mother wanted to go to the wedding

以显示自己对前夫再婚一事十分大度

to show everyone how okay she was with all of it,

所以我说服我爸和歌洛莉亚邀请她

so I convinced Dad and Gloria to invite her.

当时是谁警告你 那是史上最烂的主意

Who warned you that that was the worst idea ever?

是谁

Anyone?

是谁啊

Anyone?

当然 我已经开始新生活了

Of course, I've-I've moved on.

我本来要带男朋友来的

I was supposed to come with a date,

但他闪到腰了

but he just hurt his back,

真有点讽刺啊 因为他可是又年轻又健康

which is very ironic because he's young and-and healthy.

我妈妈在婚宴上...

My mom started drinking...

狂饮一种叫做"哥伦比亚淫棍"的鸡尾酒

these cocktails called "Horny Colombians"...

和歌洛莉亚的叔叔们大拼酒量

with some of Gloria's uncles,

那酒名显然说的就是那帮家伙

whom apparently the drink was named after.

拜托 他们很好玩

Oh, come on. They were funny.

他们一直摸我屁股

They kept patting my butt.

有人自恋了哦

Somebody's full of herself.

他们说 那是哥伦比亚婚礼的传统习俗

It's a- It's a Colombian wedding tradition, they said.

我来祝个酒

I would like to make a toast.

是啊 外婆醉得不行了

Yeah. Nanna got totally wasted.

真的很好玩

Uh, it was really funny.

然后就乌七八糟的了

Then it was gross.

敬新娘 以及新郎 也就是我的前夫

To the bride and the groom- my ex.

我们一起生活了35年

Thirty-five years we were together,

而他见到小骚货10分钟不到就跟着跑了

and he couldn't wait 10 minutes to run off with Charo.

开个玩笑而已

That's a joke.

说真的 我知道他们是天生一对

Seriously, I knew they were perfect for each other...

因为新郎"财大"气粗 而新娘"胸大"乳挺

when I saw his wallet and her boobs.

把你的脏手拿开

Take your hands off me!

- 妈 妈 -米奇尔 放松

- Mom. Mom. - Oh, relax, Mitchell.

怎么 你今天也变得跟克莱尔一样了吗

What, did you take your Claire pill?

- 别别 -我们去呼吸一下新鲜空气 好吗

- No, no. - Let's just go get a little fresh air, okay?

然后就变得诡异了

And then it got weird.

- 我是歌洛莉亚 我是歌洛莉亚 -我抓住她了

- I'm Gloria! I'm Gloria! - I got her.

吻我吧 吻我吧

Kiss me! Oh, hey, kiss me!

不 天呐

No! Oh, geez.

外婆力大如金刚

Nanna is really strong.

哎呀呦 哎呀哟 啊嘶嘚啊嘶哆

Ayayayayay! Ooh! Ayayayayay!

当我对前夫说出婚誓时

During my vows to my first husband,

几个毒贩子冲了进来 暗杀了法官

drug dealers burst in and assassinated the judge.

没想到二婚的情形更可怕

This was way worse.

说什么好呢 我就是能让女人如痴如"狂"

What can I say? I drive women crazy.

可能有点太快了

It's too soon, I guess.

妈 所有人都会去的

Everybody is going to be there, Mom!

我不管

I don't care.

你爸爸和我都不会允许你

Your father and I are not about to let you

开两小时的车去看一个演唱会

drive two hours to go to a concert...

然后跟一帮男孩子混一晚上

and then spend the night with a bunch of boys,

尤其是和你那个17岁的性冲动男友

especially that 17-year-old hormone you're dating.

全程都有人监护的

It's totally supervised.

是吗 谁监护

Oh, really? By whom?

斯宾塞·潘丁的叔叔

By Spencer Patine's uncle.

斯宾塞·潘丁是谁

Who's Spencer Patine?

你认得斯宾塞的 就是手里带家伙的那个

You know Spencer- the guy with the arm.

等会儿 抄什么"家伙"

Wait. What kind of arm?

你说的"家伙"是什么意思啊

What is that even mean?

他叔叔就是托比叔叔

His uncle is Uncle Toby.

托比叔叔啊 我会把他加入"安珀警报"名单的

Oh, Uncle Toby. I'll be sure to include that in my Amber Alert.

- 我的天啊 -我能插句话吗

- Oh, my God! - Okay. Can I step in here?

我觉得我能帮上忙

I think I can help.

海莉 你妈妈担心的是

Haley, what your mom is worried about...

你的心会被伤透

is you getting your heart broken

因为迪兰明年就要上大学去了

when Dylan goes off to college next year.

- 他不上大学 -我担心的不是...

- He's not going to college. - That's not what I'm-

他不上大学

He's not going to college?

他是混乐队的好吧 他们要去巡演呢

He's in a band, okay? They're going on tour.

事情发展的真是越来越"好"了

Oh, this just gets better and better.

为什么你们每件事都要替我做主

Why are you always on me about everything?

- 因为你必须明白 -好啦 大家冷静一下

- Because you need to understand... - Okay. Everybody, calm down!

我们从头来说一说

Let's start from the beginning.

斯宾塞手里带什么家伙了

What's wrong with Spencer's arm?

妈 我回来了

Mom, I'm home!

宝贝 睡衣派对好玩吗

Ay, baby! Did you have fun at the slumber party?

你肯定累坏了

You must be exhausted.

不 我一点儿也不累

No, I'm not tired at all.

我是第一个睡着的

I was the first one to fall asleep.

你脸上是什么

What's on your face?

是与朋友欢聚后的幸福笑容

A smile from having such a good time with my friends.

不是的 过来

No. Come here.

看

Look.

原来他们是笑这个啊

That's why they were laughing.

我还以为是我对时事的评论很逗呢

I thought it was my funny take on current events.

他们为什么要干这种事

Why would they do something like that?

没什么好担心的

Don't worry about it.

小孩子们成天就搞这种恶作剧

Guys pull pranks like that all the time.

你也捉弄他们一下呗

You just gotta prank 'em back.

要让他们知道

You just gotta show 'em

你是会以牙还牙的

you're willing to give as good as you get.

你想什么呢

What do you think?

报仇

Revenge.

我还挺喜欢的

I like it.

妈妈 也许我们不该旧事重提

Well, Mom, instead of dredging up the whole incident,

就直接全部忘掉好了

maybe we should just try and repress it,

就像一般家庭那样

like a- like a normal family.

我不行 我得来个了断

I can't. I need closure.

我的人生即将开始新的旅程了

I'm about to embark on a new journey.

我认识了个男人

I met a man.

是吗

Really?

他叫查斯

His name is Chas,

而且他让我搬到国外和他双宿双飞

and he's asked me to come live with him in his foreign land.

去哪儿呢

Wow. Where?

加拿大

Canada.

你要搬到加拿大去吗

You're moving to-to Canada?

加拿大法语区

French Canada.

真棒呀

That's wonderful.

确实很棒

It is wonderful.

只是我一想到自己对歌洛莉亚和杰

It's just that when I think of all the awful things...

以及对你和克莱尔说过的那些恶言

that I said to Gloria and Jay and you and Claire,

我就有罪恶感

I feel such guilt.

往事随风去吧 班夫公园再见

Give it time, and see Banff.

小卡 别这样

Cam, please.

我就是没法对他以身相许

I just can't give myself to him sexually.

- 别说这 妈 -没想到你突然说如此劲爆的

- Okay. Mom. - Did not see that coming.

不不 别误会

Oh, oh. Don't get me wrong.

我们"下半身"非常性福

We satisfy each other down there-

- 受不了了 -听不下去了

- Oh! Can't.. - Don't wanna-

所以我需要大家原谅我

That's why I need everyone's forgiveness.

米奇尔 我需要你帮忙

I need your help, Mitchell.

米奇尔 你听见了吗

Did you hear that, Mitchell?

你妈需要你的帮助 才能跟她的新男友查斯做爱

Your mom needs your help to make love to her new man, Chas.

完全"不"奇怪啊

That's not weird at all.

妈 我...

Mom, I-

我不是很明白你到底想我做什么

I'm just not really sure what you're asking me to do, Mom.

大家都生我的气

Well, everyone's mad at me.

或许你能帮我安排一下 我好道歉

Maybe you could pave the way so that I can apologize.

这样啊

Well, um, you know,

其实我们今晚要搞周日聚餐

we are actually all supposed to have Sunday dinner tonight,

所以或许我可以问问大家

so maybe I could go around and ask everyone

看看你能不能也来

if it's okay for you to join us.

我就知道你靠谱

Oh! I knew I could count on you.

我的帅小伙儿

Oh, my beautiful boy. Mmm.

我爱死你了

I love you so much.

世上有一种鱼

There's a fish in nature

会一直把小鱼含在嘴里

that swims around with its babies in its mouth.

要是这种鱼看见米奇尔和他母亲的关系

That fish would look at Mitchell's relationship with his mother...

准会说 "乱得不堪入目啊"

and say, "that's messed up."

天啊

Boy-

和你妈妈闹僵了对吧

Things with your mom got pretty intense down there, huh?

好比是水火不容 你明白我的意思吗

All like East Coast-West Coast. You feelin' me?

父亲般的威严 朋友般的关爱

Act like a parent, talk like a peer.

我称之为"友父"

I call it "Peerenting."

我从我老爸那儿学来的 当年他走进我房里

I learned it from my own dad, who used to walk into my room...

他会说 "怎么了 小老弟"

and say, "what's up, sweathog?"

宝贝 我很愿意让你去看演唱会

Honey, I would love to let you go to the concert.

开什么玩笑 演唱会多劲爆啊

Are you kidding me? I think concerts are rad.

我当年可是个"霍粉"呢

Hello? I was a Hall-Raiser.

什么

A what?

有一年夏天我追着霍尔&奥兹走遍了全国

I followed Hall & Oates around the country one summer.

《千金小姐》唱出了我的心声

"Rich Girl" Just spoke to me.

我当年正和一个千金小姐恋爱 也不算恋爱啦

I was dating this girl. Not- Not dating.

我猜自己也只是在追着她而已

I guess I was following her too, kind of-

妈妈就是不相信我 这不公平

Okay, Mom just doesn't trust me, and it's not fair.

她相信你 只是演唱会很容易就让人乱来

She trusts you. It's just that weird stuff happens at concerts.

- 男生们会一柱擎天 -真恶心

- Boys get urges. - Ew.

爸 你进来有什么事吗

Dad, is there something you want?

有 就这个事 来跟你这妹子沟通

Yes, there is- to connect with this girl right here.

拜托 假装我不是你爸爸

Now, come on. Pretend I'm not your dad.

我们只是两个好朋友在果汁吧闲聊

We're just a couple of friends kickin' it in a juice bar.

果汁吧是什么东西

What's a juice bar?

好吧 那就茶餐厅吧 随便

Okay, a malt shop. Whatever.

- 爸 我不... -别 谁是你爸啊

- Dad, I don't... - No. Who's Dad?

谁是你爸啊 我是生物系的马库斯

Who's Dad? I'm- I'm Marcus from Biology.

海莉你好 你和迪兰发展得如何啊

Hey, Haley. How's it going with you and Dylan?

他有没对你图谋不轨啊

Has he tried anything inappropriate with you?

妹子

Girl.

喂

Hey.

- 在干嘛呢 -不知道 没啥

- What are you doing? - I don't know. Nothing.

在和茶餐厅里碰到的一个傻子聊天呢

Just talking to some dork I met in a malt shop.

你好 米奇尔 有事吗

Hey, Mitchell. What's up?

你好 恰好路过而已

Hey! Just in the hood.

你记得当年妈妈放弃工作来照顾我们吗

Do you- Do you remember how Mom gave up a career to raise us?

大有前途的工作呢

Promising career.

天呐

Oh, God.

克莱尔

Claire?

妈妈

Mom.

怎么这么长

Why so long?

我知道 我知道这么长时间没说话很怪

I know, I know. It's weird when we haven't talked for a while.

我是说你的头发长

I mean your hair.

要是我不指出你的形象问题 谁会啊

Well, if I can't tell you, who will?

妈妈想你知道

So, Mom wants you to know

她对那件事非常抱歉

that she's very sorry about the incident,

而且她希望我们能原谅她

and-and she wants us to forgive her.

通过你来道歉 她还真有诚意啊

How very nice of her to say that through you.

瞧见没

Do you see?

她的讽刺太伤人了 像抽了我一下

The sarcasm is so hurtful, like a whip.

你知道吧 在成长中

You know how growing up,

我们脑子里总有一个声音

we all have that voice inside our head...

时刻提醒我们自己的不足

that tells us we're not good enough?

而提醒我的声音来自脑外

Well, mine was outside my head,

每天开车送我上学的时候

driving me to school.

总之嘛

Uh, so- so anyway,

妈希望化解跟爸爸和歌洛莉亚的矛盾

Mom really wants to smooth everything Over with Dad and Gloria.

所以我在想 你看这样行不

So I was thinking, uh, would it be okay

她今晚和我们一起吃饭如何

if she maybe joined us for dinner tonight?

因为这也许是你们最后一次见我了

Because it may be the last time you ever see me.

- 这个嘛 -好吧 妈 等等

- Well... - Okay. Wait, Mom.

你说什么啊

What are you talking about?

我啊 我要去...

Well, I'm- I'm moving...

一个遥远危险的地方

to a far and dangerous place.

加拿大 不过啊 她认识了个叫查斯的男人

Canada. But, uh, she met a man named Chas.

- 是的 -他是个记录员

- Yeah. - He's a logger.

是个伐木工吗

Uh, like a lumberjack?

不 他是给一个胆固醇研究记录血液样本的

No, he logs blood samples into a cholesterol study.

反正 在我走出那次婚礼的阴影之前

Anyway, until I'm past this whole wedding debacle,

我没法和他亲热

I can't be intimate with him.

我们互相取悦对方

We do things to each other.

- 是用手来做的 -老天啊

- We use our hands. - Oh, my Lord.

你好 外婆

Hey, Nanna.

我的小心肝

Oh, my little comet!

看看你 都长成大人了

Oh, look at you. You're all grown up.

这话你跟妈妈说吧

Hmm. Tell Mom that.

她甚至还不让我去看演唱会呢

She won't even let me go to a concert.

要跟男朋友过夜的好吧

Overnight, with her boyfriend.

你笑什么

What are you laughing at?

没啥 我在笑因果报应

Oh, karma's a funny thing, that's all.

- 还记得瑞奇吗 -天呐

- Remember Ricky? - Oh, God.

谁是瑞奇

Ooh. Who's Ricky?

谁也不是

No one.

瑞奇是你妈妈当年的男朋友

Ricky was your mother's boyfriend,

他长得跟邪教杀人狂查尔斯·曼森一样

and he looked like Charles Manson.

有一晚 她直到凌晨4点才回家

And one night, she didn't come home until 4:00 in the morning.

4点啊 妈 你当年跟瑞奇干嘛呢

4:00. Wow. Wow. Mom, what were you and Ricky doing?

没事 我们什么事也没干

Nothing. We were doing nothing,

他是个很贴心的小伙儿

and he was a very sweet boy,

妈 你当年愿意了解一下的话 就会明白这点

which you might have known if you bothered to get to know him.

迪兰也很贴心

Dylan's a sweet boy.

迪兰 迪兰怎能和瑞奇比

Dylan. Dylan isn't Ricky.

瑞奇是个诗人呢

Ricky- Ricky was a poet.

迪兰还是歌手呢

Dylan writes songs.

歌写得可棒了

Awesome songs.

你也可能会明白这一点

And maybe you would know that

前提是"你愿意了解一下的话"

"If you bothered to get to know him."

好吧 首先 我不是我妈妈

Okay, you know? First of all, I am not my mother.

在了解一个人之前 我不会先做出评判

I don't judge people before I get a chance to know them.

所以你请迪兰今晚来吃晚饭吧

So you invite Dylan over to dinner tonight,

如果他像你说的那样贴心善良

and if he's as sweet and as kind as you say he is,

那我就一百个放心地让你们去演唱会

then I have no problem considering letting you go to the concert,

不过我还得查查托比叔叔的底细

after I do a background check on Uncle Toby.

谢谢 谢谢 谢谢妈妈

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Mom.

我这就给他打电话

I'm gonna go call him!

真是心胸"开阔"教女有方啊

That's very revealing.

这就是我为人之母的风格

That's my parenting style.

- 不 我是说你胸部外露了 -妈

- No, I meant your blouse. - Mom!

克莱尔 等等

Claire, wait. Come...

您这是帮倒忙呢

Not making this easy.

克莱尔拜托 别这样 别这样

Claire, come on. Stop, stop, stop.

就让她来吃晚饭吧 向爸爸和歌洛莉亚道歉

Just let her come to dinner, apologize to Dad and Gloria,

之后她就能和查斯幸福到永远了

and she and Chas can live happily ever after.

- 在加拿大 -在加拿大

- In Canada. - In Canada.

等会 你为啥不让她自己解决呢

Wait. Why don't you make her fix this,

她每次都找你帮忙

instead of you doing it as usual?

你这话什么意思

Whoa. What's that supposed to mean?

每次老妈一闯祸 就让米奇尔来收拾残局

Mom makes a mess, and there's Mitchell to clean it up.

绝对不是这样的

That is so not true.

真要细究

If anything,

其实是因为你跟妈咪的关系太僵了

you're the one with the screwed-up relationship with Mommy-

- 跟妈妈 -哇塞

- With Mom. - Wow.

- "妈咪" -没 我没这么叫

- "Mommy"! - No, I didn't say it-

- 我擦 -好吧好吧

- Damn it. - Ooh. Fine. Fine.

- 让她来吧 但她得亲自跟爹地说 -"爹地"

- She can come, but she's gotta clear it with Daddy. - "Daddy"?

- 我没叫"爹地" -你叫了"爹地"

- I did not say "Daddy." - You said "Daddy."

嗨 老爸

Hey, Dad.

米奇尔 你来这儿干嘛

Mitchell, what are you doing here?

抱歉打扰你了

Uh, I'm sorry to bother you.

我能跟你和歌洛莉亚说几句吗

Can I talk to you and Gloria for a second?

她出去解决曼尼的事儿了

She's out dealing with a Manny situation.

他把一个小孩的单车给烧了

He set a kid's bike on fire.

为什么

Why?

我叫他去报复别的孩子

Oh, I might have told him to get even with some kids,

结果他就做了回"铁血真汉子"

and he went all Rambo with it.

是我这个当爹的教育失误

Not my best parenting moment.

也不是最糟的一回啦

Not your worst.

什么事啊

What's up?

- 那个 妈妈回来了 -你妈妈?

- Uh, well, you know, uh, Mom's in town. - Your mom?

不 是你妈妈 她从坟墓里爬出来了

No, your mom. She's back from the grave.

当然是我妈啦 老爸

Yes. Yes, my mom, Dad.

我妈诈尸也没她可怕

My mom would be less scary.

听着 是她毁了那次婚礼

Listen, she's a wreck about what happened at the wedding,

所以她想今晚一起去吃饭 向大家道歉

and she wants to come to dinner tonight to apologize to everyone.

你还是她的狗腿子啊

Still her little errand boy, I see.

不 为什么大家都这么说啊 才不是

No- Why does everybody keep saying- No.

我只是想让这个家重归于好

I- I'm just trying to piece this family back together.

那你会跟歌洛莉亚说 妈要一起去吃晚饭吗

So, you'll talk to Gloria about Mom coming to dinner?

歌洛莉亚打死都不会同意的

Oh, Gloria would never go for that in a million years.

她还在生你妈妈的气

She's still furious with your mother,

所以我没有在和你谈话

which is why I'm not talking to you.

我怎么得罪你了

What did I do?

这次谈话压根就不存在

This conversation never took place.

你可有点不近人情啊

That's not very nice.

我大老远跑来的

I drove all the way here.

不 你从来就没来过

No, you didn't. You were never here.

你连电话都没打过

You never even called.

我本来是要打的

I would've called,

但我觉得面谈比较好

but I thought it would be better-

这是怎么一回事啊

What's happening here?

听着 我也想给这事来个了断

Listen, I would love to get this thing behind us,

但如果我瞒着歌洛莉亚请你妈来的话

but Gloria would never forgive me

她是绝不会原谅我的

if I pulled a fast one on her.

所以 要由你瞒着她去请你妈来

That's why you're going to pull a fast one on her,

而我则假装对此极力反对

and I'm not going to like it one bit.

好吧 这太好了

Okay, that's just great.

没事 好极了 看来又是我背黑锅了

No, that's great. So, it's all up to me.

我听不见你 因为你在家里 而我在打瞌睡

I can't hear you because you're back home, and I'm taking a nap.

- 小迪迪 你可算来啦 -你好

- D-Money! There he is. - Hey.

- 快进来 -你好

- Come on in. - Hey.

- 你好 -你好吗

- Hi. - How you doing?

我很好

Good.

喂 各位

Um- Uh, hey, everybody.

- 这位是迪兰 -你们好

- This is Dylan. - Hey.

- 你好迪兰 -你好

- Hi, Dylan. - Hey.

这孩子心地非常善良

He has a very gentle soul.

一句"你好"你就看出来了

You got that from "Hey"?

迪兰 我看你带了乐器啊

So, Dylan, see you brought the ax.

- 是啊 我刚排练回来 -真棒

- Yeah, yeah. I just came from practice. - Sweet.

真怀念当年

Miss those days.

你以前也在乐队混吗

Oh, you were in a band?

本来可以的 但是在高中时

Could have been, but in high school

一心痴迷于魔术 所以嘛

I was really all about my magic, so-

老天啊 别吹了

Oh, my God. Over.

肯定是爸爸和歌洛莉亚来了

Oh, that's gonna be Dad and Gloria.

米奇

Oh, Mitchell.

我知道这很傻 但我...

I know it's silly, but...

我真有点儿紧张了

I'm a little nervous.

那可不傻 紧张是正常的

Oh. That's not silly. You should be.

- 好呀 -你好

- Hola. Hola. - How are you?

- 曼尼 -菲尔

- Manny? - Phil.

- 胡子真帅 -谢谢

- Nice mustache. - Thank you.

别逗他 小心他把你家给烧了

Don't make fun. He may burn your house down.

老天

Oh, boy.

迪迪

Dede.

杰 歌洛莉亚 你们好

Hi, Jay, Gloria.

她在这儿干嘛

What is she doing here?

她那话什么意思 她不知道我要来吗

What does she mean, "What is she doing here?"

- 米奇尔跟你说了我会来 -瞎说

- Mitchell told you I'd be here. - Lies!

我不能跟她说 否则她就不来了

I couldn't tell her, because she wouldn't come.

歌洛莉亚 我妈妈想为之前的事道歉

Gloria, uh, my mom wants to apologize for everything.

所以你就给歌洛莉亚来个突然袭击吗

So you just spring it on Gloria like this?

米奇尔 你有病是吧

Mitchell, what the hell is wrong with you?

我不想听她道歉

I don't want her apologies.

宝贝 不能怪你

Who could blame you, honey?

所以都怪你出的馊主意

Which is why this is a terrible idea by you!

杰 曼尼 我们走

Jay. Manny. Let's go.

歌洛莉亚 等等

Oh, wait, wait, Gloria.

我只是想告诉你

I- I just want to tell you

我对大闹婚礼的事非常抱歉

how sorry I am for ruining your wedding.

我那时孤独一人 日子很不爽

I was struggling with being alone.

同时 杰那么快就有了新恋情

Meanwhile, Jay moves on so easily,

而且他找的不是一般的女人

and-and not with just anyone-

而是一位

with a...

年轻的

young...

聪明 而且美丽的女人

and smart and beautiful woman.

我并不指望你原谅我

I don't expect you to forgive me.

如果我是你 我只想抽我自己丫的

If I were you, I'd want to punch me right in the mouth.

我觉得我们家今天报仇也报够了

I think we've had enough revenge in this family for one day.

真好啊 你们看

Ah. Okay. Y- You see?

我们家即将翻开新的一页 多亏了我

Yeah, we're all gonna move past this, and because of me,

我可不是妈妈的小乖乖

who's not a mama's boy, but is

而是个通情达理 善于察言观色的智者

a caring person with wisdom and emotional insight.

都给我记着吧 衰货们

So make a note, bitches.

你真心不适合王婆自夸

It's not a good color on you.

我原谅你

I forgive you.

我没料到会这样

I am not prepared for this.

我只是

I just-

我想

I- I wanna

- 扭断你的脖子 -什么

- rip your head off! - What?

搞毛啊

What are you doing?

- 你毁了我的婚礼 -不

- You ruined my wedding! - Oh, no!

我按住歌洛莉亚了

Oh! I got Gloria!

- 我按住歌洛莉亚了 -妈 别这样

- I got Gloria! - Mom, come on.

腿别乱蹬

Unbend your legs.

我按住歌洛莉亚了

I got Gloria.

站好 都是大人了 别闹了

Stand up like a big girl. Come on.

好了 别闹了 别闹了 都别闹了

All right. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it, the two of you.

- 让你见笑了 很抱歉 -没事没事

- I am so sorry about this. - No, it's cool. It's cool.

真是太荒唐了 歌洛莉亚不是小三

This is ridiculous. Gloria didn't steal me,

迪迪 你是知道的

Dede, and you know it.

我们夫妻不和已经多年

We grew apart for years,

你离开家去寻找自我 记得吗

and you left to find yourself, remember?

我还以为自己能处理好

I thought I could handle this.

我很抱歉

I'm so sorry.

谁要听你丫说抱歉

You don't say sorry anymore!

- 你的抱歉都是放屁 -我拉住歌洛莉亚了

- That word means nothing in your mouth! - I got Gloria.

我都不知道出什么事了

I don't know what just happened.

我知道

I do.

我是说 在我看来这事很简单

I mean, it seems pretty simple to me.

你们都极力想护住些美好的东西

You're reaching out, trying to hold on to something awesome.

这个 或许你不该...

Um, maybe- maybe you shouldn't...

没事没事 我不习惯这样

Look, look, look. I'm not used to this-

这种大家族的家事儿

the whole big family thing.

在我家 我们甚至互相不说话

In my house, we don't even talk to each other.

有趣的是 当我第一眼见到海莉

You know, it's funny- the first time I saw Haley,

我就知道我喜欢她

I knew I liked her.

她很美丽动人

I mean, she's beautiful and everything,

但不只如此

but it's-it's not just that.

她还有一种令人折服的自信

It's that she's got this killer confidence-

那种 那种自信

you know, the kind of confidence

来自于像你们这样的大家庭

that you get from having a family like this...

这种充满激情

that's passionate...

对异国美女的包容

and accepting of hot foreigners...

对基佬和疯婆子的包容

and gay dudes and nutty people.

就是

You know,

真正相亲相爱的家庭

a family that actually loves each other.

我无法相信自己会说出这话

I can't believe I'm gonna say this,

但也许我们应该让她跟他去

but maybe we should let her go with him.

他真是个好小伙

He's perfect.

各位 海莉说迪兰是个音乐家

Everybody, Haley says that Dylan is a musician,

而且他写歌写得非常好

and he writes some great songs.

- 是啊 -老弟 来演奏一曲吧

- Yeah. - Play something, bro.

好吧 你们真想听的话当然可以

Well, I guess so, if you want me to.

给大家来一首好歌吧

We could all use a nice tune right now.

这首歌嘛 其实是我写给海莉的

This is, uh, actually a song I wrote for Haley.

歌名叫《月下》

It's called "In the Moonlight."

- 歌名真有爱 -谢谢

- Lovely title, Dylan. - Thanks.

*星星从天边划过*

*The stars are falling from the sky*

*它们都是被你吸引而坠落*

*And you're the reason why*

*月光洒在你脸庞*

*The moon is shining on your face*

*因为它终于感到*

*Cause it finally feels*

*它找到了归属*

*It's found its place*

*因为宝贝 宝贝*

*Cause baby, baby*

*我就是想要干你 干你*

*I just wanna do you do you*

*你想不想干我 干我*

*Do you wanna do me, do me*

*就在这月下 月下*

*Underneath the moonlight the moonlight*

*宝贝 宝贝*

*Baby, baby*

*也许我会偷你 偷你*

*Maybe I will steal you Uh, steal you*

*这样我就能摸你 摸你*

*Just so I can feel you feel you*

*也许这能安抚你 安抚你*

*Maybe that would heal you heal you*

*从你身体里*

*On the inside*

她不能跟他去

She's so not going.

打死也不准去

Not a chance in hell.

*它们似乎不在乎*

*They don't seem to mind*

*月光洒在你脸庞*

*The moon is shining on your fa-a-ace*

*而它终于感到*

*And it finally feels it's*

*找到了它的归属*

*Found its place 'cause*

*宝贝 宝贝*

*Baby, baby*

*我就是想要干你 干你*

*I just wanna do you, do you*

*宝贝 你也可以干我 干我*

*Baby, you can do me, do me*

*而我则会干你 干你*

*And I will do you, do you*

*也许这能安抚你 安抚你*

*Maybe it would heal you heal you*

*从你身体里*

*From the inside*

*-从你身体里 -从你身体里*

*- From the inside - From the inside*

*-从你身体里 -身体里*

*- From the inside - Inside*

我总是唱不好和声

Never good at harmonizing.

唱得挺好的

That was good.

,