幸福的方法哈佛大学最受欢迎的幸福课（哈佛大学教授解读幸福是什么）

I'm Arthur Brooks, a professor at Harvard University and the happiness columnist at "The Atlantic." I'm here today to answer your questions on Twitter.

我是阿瑟·布鲁克斯，哈佛大学教授，《大西洋月刊》的幸福专栏作家。我今天在这里回答你在推特上提出的问题。

This is Happiness Support.

这里是幸福支持。

First up, @simpysamantha, who just, "Found out that the key to Happiness is a good sleep schedule.

首先是 @simpysamantha，他刚刚“发现幸福的关键是要有良好的睡眠时间表。

Who knew?" Well, the secret to happiness is not lots of sleep or even a good sleep schedule.

谁知道呢。”幸福的秘诀不是充足的睡眠，也不是良好的睡眠时间表。

One of the funny things about diet, nutrition, exercise, sleep, they don't actually bring happiness, but they do lower unhappiness, which can be your problem.

关于饮食、营养、锻炼、睡眠，有趣的一点是，它们实际上并没有带来快乐，但它们确实会降低不快乐的感觉，这可能是你的问题。

Now it sounds like I'm splitting hairs, right?

现在听起来像是我在吹毛求疵，对吧？

Most people think that unhappiness is the opposite of happiness.

大多数人认为不快乐是快乐的反面。

It's not.

并非如此。

They're actually processed in different hemispheres of the brain.

它们实际上是在大脑的两边分别进行处理的。

Happiness on one side, unhappiness on the other.

快乐在一边，不快乐在另一边。

The right side is negative basic emotions, and the way that we know this is because the left side of the face, which is controlled by the right side of the brain, is more active when we're feeling negative emotions.

右边是负面的基本情绪，我们知道这一点的方式是因为当我们感受到负面情绪时，由大脑右侧控制的左脸会更加活跃。

So, simpysamantha, my guess is that, you know, you've got some unhappiness in your life, and look, we all do.

所以，simpysamantha，我猜，你知道，你的生活中会有些不快乐，听着，我们都是。

Some of us have higher negative feeling levels than others.

我们中的一些人负面情绪水平会比其他人更高。

If you've got that and you want some relief, that's what's gonna bring it.

如果你处于这种情况并且你想要解脱，多睡觉确实是解决办法。

So it won't make you happier, it's not the secret of happiness, but it sure is good for having less unhappiness.

所以它不会让你更快乐，这不是快乐的秘密，但它肯定有助于减少不快乐。

Have a good night's sleep.

睡个好觉。

Queenoffire85, "Does anyone ever experience depression or uncertainty after achieving a goal?" Oh, yes. Yes, they do.

Queenoffire85，“有人在实现目标后经历过抑郁或不安吗？”哦，是的。是的，他们会。

This is the real riddle of happiness.

这才是真正的幸福之谜。

This is the satisfaction dilemma in a nutshell.

简而言之，这就是满足困境。

Yeah, if I get that watch, I'm gonna love it forever.

是的，如果我得到那块手表，我会永远爱它。

I get that car, I get that house, I get that relationship, I get that job, that money, that, fill in the blank, it's gonna be so great, and it is for a minute.

我得到了那辆车，我得到了那栋房子，我恋爱了，我得到了那份工作，那笔钱，那个，随便什么都好，这种感觉很棒的，不过只会持续一分钟。

Now there's neurophysiology behind this, too.

这背后还有神经生理学的原因。

There's a neuromodulator in the brain called dopamine, and you want it, you work for it, you're gonna get it.

大脑中有一种叫做多巴胺的神经调质，你想要获得它，你为之努力，然后你会得到它。

Dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, you got it.

多巴胺，多巴胺，多巴胺，你得到了它。

Oh. Oh, I guess I need to start again.

哦。哦，我想我需要重新开始。

Here's just a little, tiny way to think about how to solve that problem.

这里有一个小小的方法来思考如何解决这个问题。

You, I, everybody, Mother Nature teaches us that to get satisfaction and keep it you need to have more.

你，我，每个人，自然母亲教导我们，要获得满足并持续满足的感觉，那么你需要拥有更多。

That's the wrong model.

那是错误的模式。

Your real satisfaction is all the things you have divided by all the things that you want.

真正的满足感是你拥有的所有东西除以你想要的所有东西。

Now you can try to increase your satisfaction permanently by having more, or you can work on the denominator of haves divided by wants.

那么你可以试着通过拥有更多来永久提高你的满意度，或者你可以调整这个公式中的分母。

You can work on wanting less.

你可以减少欲望。

That turns out to be the right formula.

事实证明这才是正确的公式。

Shaikitoff, or shaikitoff.

Shaikitoff，还是 Shaikitoff。

Shaikitoff. I got it!

Shaikitoff。我明白了！

Shaikitoff asks, "How do I practice gratitude when all I feel is sadness, frustration, and confusion?" Back to your question, how do I feel gratitude?

Shaikitoff 问：“当我感到悲伤、沮丧和困惑时，我如何心怀感激？”回到你的问题，我如何心怀感激？

You decide to be grateful is the bottom line.

你认为感恩是底线。

The brain kind of is in three parts.

大脑由三部分组成。

It's not exactly this way, but just for reference, there's the ancient part that has all your motor functions and breathing and brain stem and spinal column.

并不完全是这样，但只是作为参考，有一个古老的部分，控制你所有的运动功能、呼吸、脑干和脊柱。

Then you got the middle part, your your limbic system that takes signals from the outside world and takes a kind of machine language and turns it into feelings that happen to you.

然后是中间的部分，你的边缘系统，它接收来自外界的信号，用一种机器语言将其转化为发生在你身上的感觉。

And then from there it delivers those signals into the neocortex of the brain, the wrinkly part on the outside of your brain, the most evolved and amazingly human of which is the prefrontal cortex, a bumper of brain tissue right behind your forehead, and it gets these emotions, and you decide what they mean and what you're supposed to do.

然后从那里它将这些信号传递到大脑的新皮层，大脑外部的皱纹部分，人类进化程度最高且最令人惊讶的是前额叶皮层，你前额后面的一块脑组织，它控制情绪，你来决定它们意味着什么以及你应该做什么。

Now, a lot of people go through life in just kind of a limbic state being delivered emotions.

现在，很多人的一生都处于一种被传递情绪的边缘状态。

And if you're sort of a limbic person feeling like you're managed by these things, kind of hoping for the best, then your limbic system is in charge.

如果你是一个边缘人，感觉你被这些东西管理着，希望能有最好的结果，那么你的边缘系统会来统管一切。

But that's not your only option.

但这不是你唯一的选择。

You can be in charge yourself, but what you have to do is to experience your emotions in the prefrontal cortex of your brain.

你可以自我管理，但你要做的是在大脑的前额叶皮层体验你的情绪。

And it's a very simple process, if you put your mind to it.

如果你用心去做，这是一个非常简单的过程。

It's called metacognition.

叫做元认知。

Metacognition means being aware of your emotions and your thinking.

元认知意味着意识到你的情绪和想法。

This is what humans are uniquely available to do.

这是人类独有的能力。

My dog, Chucho, he's not metacognitive, he can't be.

我的狗，楚乔，他不具备元认知的能力，他不可能具备。

He feels it.

他感觉到了。

He does it.

他做到了。

He sees the cookie.

他看到了饼干。

He eats the cookie.

他吃饼干。

But I can actually deliver that information to my prefrontal cortex and make an executive decision about what I'm going to do, not withstanding my feelings.

但是我可以把这些信息传递到我的前额叶皮层然后对我接下来要做的事情做出决策，而不用顾及我的感受。

Here's what I ask my students to do at Harvard.

这是我在哈佛对学生们提出的要求。

I ask them to make a gratitude list on Sunday nights.

我请他们在周日晚上列出一份感恩清单。

They make a list of the five things they're most grateful for, then every night during the rest of the week take five minutes and look at your gratitude list.

他们列出他们最感激的五件事，然后在一周剩下的时间里，每天晚上花五分钟看看你的感激清单。

Sundays, update your list.

周日再更新你的清单。

In 10 weeks, you're gonna be between 15 and 25% happier because you decided to be grateful.

10 周后，你的快乐指数会提升 15% 到 25%，因为你决定心存感激。

You managed your emotions so they didn't manage you, and if you do that, it's a game changer.

你控制了你的情绪，所以它们没有控制你，如果你这样做了，那么这会带来巨大的改变。

Being in charge, you're never gonna be the same.

掌控情绪，你会彻底改变。

Hase1136, Pretty Rabbit, "As I lay here, I wonder what is the true meaning of happiness?" Happiness is actually a combination of three identifiable things that we all need and we all want in both balance and abundance.

Hase1136，Pretty Rabbit，“我躺着的时候会思考幸福的真正含义是什么？”幸福实际上是三种可识别的东西的组合，这三种东西是我们都需要的，是我们都想要平衡和丰富的。

These are the macronutrients of happiness.

这些是幸福的重要元素。

Your Thanksgiving dinner is protein, carbohydrates, and fat.

你的感恩节晚餐是蛋白质、碳水化合物和脂肪。

Well, your happiness is enjoyment, satisfaction, and Purpose.

而你的幸福是享受、满足和目标。

Enjoyment is not just pleasure, it's pleasure with consciousness.

享受不仅仅是快乐，它是有意识的快乐。

It's using your prefrontal cortex.

它会用到你的前额叶皮层。

Satisfaction is the joy that you get from a job well done.

满意是你从出色的工作中获得的快乐。

It's your reward for striving, for working, for even suffering.

这是对你努力、工作甚至受苦的回报。

Purpose, what's that?

目的，那是什么？

Well, that's really a question of finding coherence in your life, finding goals in your life, finding significance in your life.

嗯，这实际上是一个在你的生活中找到连贯性的问题，在你的生活中找到目标，在你的生活中找到意义。

If you have those three things, you have happiness.

如果你拥有这三样东西，那么你就拥有幸福。

GeeorgeStyles asks, "Is happiness connected to having a purpose?" Purpose is literally one of the macronutrients of happiness, but it's a weird one.

乔治·斯泰尔斯问道：“幸福与有目标有关吗？”目标确实是幸福的重要元素之一，但它很奇怪。

It's actually hard to figure out even what it is.

甚至很难弄清楚它是什么。

If you're feeling like life doesn't have enough purpose, that life doesn't have enough meaning, answer the following two questions: why am I alive, and for what would I be willing to die?

如果你觉得生活没有足够的目标，生活没有足够的意义，回答以下两个问题：我为什么活着，我愿意为什么而死？

If you don't have an answer to one or both of those questions, you're gonna have an existential crisis.

如果你对这两个问题中的一个或两个都没有答案，你将面临生存危机。

And you need to go in search with your life of an answer to those two questions.

你需要用你的一生去寻找这两个问题的答案。

I'm not gonna tell you what those answers are.

我不会告诉你答案是什么。

They're different for different people.

这个答案因人而异。

So yes, does purpose lead to happiness? Oh, yeah.

所以是的，目标会带来幸福吗？当然。

How do you find your purpose?

你如何找到你的目标？

Answer those two questions.

回答上面那两个问题。

Find the answer to those two questions.

找到这两个问题的答案。

That's your assignment.

这是你的任务。

Syedafati, "Can social media cause depression?" Yes, so it seems.

Syedafati，“社交媒体会导致抑郁症吗？”是的，看起来是这样的。

Here's the basic bottom line.

下面是我的基本论点。

Social media is like the junk food of social life.

社交媒体就像是社会生活的垃圾食品。

High calories, low nutrition.

高热量，低营养。

You're starving for this neuropeptide called oxytocin.

你渴望得到一种叫做催产素的神经肽。

It bonds people together.

它把人们联系在一起。

You get almost none of it when you don't have touch and eye contact, but you crave more and more social contact when you've been on social media for so long, so you binge it.

当你没有触摸和眼神交流时，你几乎什么都得不到，但是当你在社交媒体上待了这么久，你渴望越来越多的社交接触，所以你一次性获取很多。

It's basically like binging french fries and then wondering why you feel crummy and you're gaining weight, but you're not getting your nutrition.

这基本上就像暴食炸薯条，然后想知道为什么你感觉很糟，体重增加了，但是你没有得到营养。

Here's the deal.

你应该这样做。

If you're gonna use social media, make sure it only ever compliments your in-person relationships and you use it very sparingly.

如果你打算使用社交媒体，确保它只是你人际关系的补充，并且你要非常谨慎地使用它。

I'm talking about a total of 30 minutes a day across all platforms and never, ever, ever, ever substituting for an in-person friendship.

我建议每天在所有平台上总共花的时间不超过 30 分钟，永远，永远，永远不要用它取代面对面的友谊。

If it substitutes for any friendship or goes outside of those bounds, it's gonna lower your happiness.

如果它取代了任何友谊或者超出了这些界限，就会降低你的幸福感。

Poojasgoyal, gotta get the middle initial, I know, "How does age affect happiness?" And she encloses a graph, and what it does is it looks at different ages the average happiness level in a particular country at a particular time, and it looks the same every place.

Poojasgoyah，中间应该大写，我知道，“年龄如何影响幸福？”她还附上了一张图表，图表呈现的是依照不同的年龄，特定国家在特定时间的平均幸福水平，而且在每个地方看起来都一样。

What do you think is gonna happen if, let's just say, you're in your late 20s?

如果你快 30 岁了，你觉得会发生什么？

Are you gonna be happier or unhappier in 10 years?

10 年后你会更幸福还是不幸福？

Now most people watching me are optimists.

现在大多数看我演讲的人都是乐观主义者。

Most people think they're gonna be happier at 38 than they were at 28, and the reason is because these have these goals and they think that they're gonna meet their goals.

大多数人认为他们 38 岁时会比 28 岁时更幸福，原因是因为他们有目标，他们认为他们会实现他们的目标。

Most people think they're gonna get happier as they get older, and it's gonna reach a max point, and then it's gonna head back down again.

大多数人认为随着年龄的增长，他们会变得更幸福，并且会达到一个顶点，然后它会再次下降。

The truth is exactly the opposite.

事实恰恰相反。

Most people, on average, they get a slight diminution of their happiness from their early 20s until their late 40s or early 50s, but it's like eight to seven on a 1 to 10 scale.

平均而言，大多数人的幸福感会从 20 岁出头到 40 多岁或 50 岁出头略有下降，但用 1 到 10 的量表来看，差不多是从 8 到 7。

This is not a huge problem.

这不是什么大问题。

Noticeable but not horrible.

值得注意但不可怕。

Then in your early 50s it turns around and you start back up again, and almost everybody actually gets increasing happiness from their early 50s until about 70, except two groups: people who have unremediated mental illness and people who have untreated substance use disorders.

然后在你 50 出头的时候，幸福感又发生了逆转，你又开始恢复，几乎每个人的幸福感都从 50 出头一直持续到 70 岁左右，除了两组人：患有未经治疗的精神疾病的人和患有未经治疗的物质使用障碍的人。

So if this is you, get treated for anxiety and depression and mood disorders and get treated for addiction.

所以如果你属于以上这两种情况，请接受焦虑、抑郁和情绪障碍的治疗，接受成瘾的治疗。

All right, next question comes from @LaughingAllTheWay, "How do we adjust our expectations as we age?" That's a good one.

好吧，下一个问题来自 @LaughingAllTheWay，“随着年龄的增长，我们如何调整我们的期望？”好问题。

One of the things that actually gets better and better and better as you age is your expectations about the future because you understand how things work.

随着年龄的增长，有一件事会变得越来越好，那就是你对未来的期望，因为你明白事情是如何运作的。

There's this tyranny that people don't understand until they're usually a little after 50 years old.

人们直到 50 岁以后才会理解这个铁律。

They think that if they get that thing that they want, they're gonna get it and they're gonna enjoy it and it's never gonna go away, and then it does.

他们认为如果他们得到了他们想要的东西，他们会得到它，他们会享受它，它永远不会消失，然后它就消失了。

They also think that if something bad happens to them that they're gonna stay in a bad mood or sad or angry or afraid forever.

他们还认为，如果有不好的事情发生在他们身上，他们会永远保持坏心情、悲伤、愤怒或害怕。

Here's what you learn after 50: nothing lasts and it doesn't matter.

50 岁以后你会学到：没有什么是永恒的，也不重要。

There's a thing that all biologists talk about, which is homeostasis, the tendency of every biological process to go back to its equilibrium.

有一件事是所有生物学家都在谈论的，那就是体内平衡，每个生物过程都有回到平衡状态的趋势。

Well, it works emotionally as well.

在情感上也一样。

Your anger, your sadness, your disgust, your fear, your joy, your interest, those things don't last for good and for bad.

你的愤怒，你的悲伤，你的厌恶，你的恐惧，你的快乐，你的兴趣，这些东西不会永远持续下去。

Your heart is broken?

你心碎了？

It won't last.

这不会持续太久。

When you figure that out, this is power, and if you harness that, every year's better than the last.

当你意识到这一点时，这就是力量，如果你利用它，每年都比上一年好。

Or it can be.

或者可能是。

Next up, this one's from Father Poster, and I'm just gonna take a wild guess that this is actually not a priest.

接下来，这个问题来自 Father Poster，我要大胆猜测这个人实际上不是牧师。

"How do I transcend from my mortal anguish?" Sounds to me like Father Poster is a little afraid of dying, but we're all afraid of our own version of dying.

"我怎样才能从致命的痛苦中解脱出来？"在我看来，Father Poster 有点害怕死亡，但我们都害怕死亡。

There's a meditation that the Theravada Buddhists do.

上座部佛经里有一种冥想。

If you go to a monastery, a Buddhist monastery, in the southern tier of Asia, especially East Asia, Thailand or Vietnam or Myanmar, you'll find pictures of corpses in various states of decay and that the monks have to ponder and they have to say, "That is me and that is me." What are they doing?

如果你去亚洲南部的佛教寺院，尤其是东亚、泰国、越南或缅甸的寺院，你会发现各种腐烂状态的尸体照片，僧侣们必须思考，他们得说，“那是我，那是我。”他们在做什么？

They're doing what's called the maranasati death meditation.

他们在做所谓的马拉纳萨蒂死亡冥想。

Walk yourself through that.

让自己体验死亡。

Why?

为什么？

Because you're gonna accustom yourself to that sort of surreal experience of your own death as you see it.

因为你会习惯于那种你自己看到的死亡的超现实体验。

How do I transcend my mortal anguish?

我如何超越我致命的痛苦？

By leaning into my mortal anguish.

通过沉浸于致命的痛苦中。

You beat fear by experiencing the fear and making it ordinary, and it will no longer be a ghost and it will no longer be a problem.

你通过体验恐惧并让它变得普通来战胜恐惧，它将不再是幽灵，也不再是问题。

@thYrd_eYe_prYin, "I've been working on being present." To be present means to be here now.

@thYrd_eYe_prYin，“我一直努力活在当下。”活在当下意味着专注于现在。

That's the words that Ram Dass used to talk about.

这是拉姆·达斯过去常说的话。

We have a special kind of language that we put on that now, it's called being mindful.

我们现在有一种特殊的说法，叫做正念。

Mindfulness is hard because we're time travelers.

正念很难，因为我们是时间旅行者。

You're thinking about the past.

你在思考过去。

You're thinking about the future.

你在思考未来。

The average person, by the way, spends 30 to 50% of their time thinking about the future.

顺便说一句，普通人会花 30% 到 50% 的时间思考未来。

That's unbelievable.

真令人难以置信。

You're not here now.

你没有专注现在。

Think about how much you do that, by the way.

顺便说一下，想想你这么做的频率。

You go on vacation, you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna make some memories, so I'm gonna take a picture, picture, picture, picture, picture." You're thinking about now as if it were the past in the future when you're looking back on the present.

你去度假，你会说，“哦，我要创造一些回忆，所以我要拍一张照片，照片，照片，照片，照片。”你是在把现在当做未来视角里的过去。

That's unbelievable time travel.

真是难以置信的时间旅行。

We do it all the time.

我们一直都在这么做。

Here's the problem.

问题就在这里。

You missed your life.

你错过了你的生活。

You missed it.

你错过了。

You know, the great Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hahn, y'all have to read "The Miracle of Mindfulness" 'cause it starts off with him describing what it's like to wash the dishes.

伟大的越南佛教僧侣一行禅师，你们都要去阅读《正念的奇迹》，因为这本书从他描述洗碗的感觉开始。

I'm washing the dishes, and I'm conscious of washing the dishes because if I don't think about washing the dishes I will not be present in the act of washing the dishes.

我在洗碗，我意识到要洗碗，因为如果我不去想洗碗，我就不会在洗碗的行为中处于活在当下的状态。

That means working on being a mindful person.

这意味着努力成为一个有意识的人。

Maybe it's with meditation, maybe it's with prayer, maybe it's with therapy, and sitting with your hands folded on your lap looking out the window of the train saying, "I am sitting on the train right now because I don't wanna miss my life." Finally, Shammeri_AAA wants to know the definition of wisdom.

也许是通过冥想，也许是通过祈祷，也许是通过治疗，双手交叉放在腿上坐着，看着火车的窗外说，“我现在坐在火车上，因为我不想错过我的生活。”最后一个问题，Shammeri_AAA 想知道智慧的定义。

Psychometricians, those who study different forms of intelligence, find that we have a thing called fluid intelligence early on.

心理学家，那些研究不同形式的智力的人，发现我们很早就有一种叫做流体智力的东西。

In our 20s and 30s, the ability to focus, to innovate, to solve problems, to think quickly.

在我们 20 多岁和 30 多岁的时候，专注、创新、解决问题、快速思考的能力。

People tend to peak in knowledge professions, at their ability to solve problems, to innovate, to focus, working memory in their late 30s.

人们往往会在知识相关的职业中达到巅峰，在他们 30 多岁时解决问题、创新、专注、工作记忆的能力会达到巅峰。

But there's another curve behind it called crystallized intelligence, which increases through your 40s and 50s and 60s and stays high in your 70s and 80s.

但是在它后面还有另一条曲线叫做结晶智力，它会在你 40 多岁、50 多岁和 60 多岁时增加，在你 70 多岁和 80 多岁时保持高水平。

It's the wisdom curve.

这是一条智慧曲线。

The essence of wisdom is teaching, is mentoring.

智慧的本质是教导，是指导。

It's leading teams.

它是领导团队。

It's recognizing patterns.

它是识别模式。

It's understanding what things really mean and using that information in service of other people.

它是理解事物的真正含义并利用这些信息为他人服务。

And it gets better, and if you choose to cultivate it, it can make your life as happy as it could possibly be as you get older.

它会进步，如果你选择培养这种智慧，它会让你的生活随着你年老而尽可能快乐。

That's not only the consolation of age, that's the promise of wisdom.

这不仅是对于衰老的安慰，也是智慧的承诺。

Well, it looks like that's all we've got for today.

嗯，看起来这就是我们今天的全部内容。

Those are your questions.

以上是来自你们的问题。

I hope you've learned a lot from this time.

我希望你们能从中学到很多。

I hope you've enjoyed it.

希望你们喜欢。

I hope you're a little bit happier.

我希望你们能幸福一点。

But here's the key thing, if you really wanna lock it in, here's the secret.

但关键是，如果你真的想锁定幸福，我来告诉你们秘诀。

You gotta think about it and you gotta adopt new habits in your life, and most of all, here's the most important part, you gotta share it.

你必须思考它，你必须在生活中养成新习惯，最重要的是，这是最重要的部分，你必须分享它。

Go share it, then you'll never lose it.

去分享它，那么你就永远不会失去它。

Thanks for taking some time with me today.

感谢和我一起共度这段美好时光。

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