为什么都喜欢炮姐（如果你只知道炮友）

We’ve had ’no strings attached’, ’friends with benefits’, ’ghosting’ and now ’benching’ - but what is it?

我们有一些流行语，如：“没有附加关系”、“炮友”、“玩失踪”，现在又有个“坐冷板凳”-那么它究竟是什么意思呢？

It’s not quite as romantic as you’d think.

它并不如你想得那么浪漫。

If you’re a singleton nowadays, it can be hard to keep up with all the latest tech and the slang we use to descirbe our dating lives.

如果你是只单身狗，可能不太能跟得上我们用来描述恋爱生活的流行语。

There’s Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, Match.com - and that’s just when it comes to meeting people.

比如Tinder，Grindr，Bumble，Match.com（一些交友网站名称）-而这仅仅针对相互结识这一阶段。

When you find a date there are so many ’labels’ you can find attached to a budding relationship.

当你开始约会时，你会为你们刚刚处于萌芽阶段的恋爱关系贴上很多“标签”。

Facebook official’, ’friends with benefits’, ’no strings attached’ are all things we’ve come to recognise.

“Facebook官方爱人”、“炮友”、“没有附加关系”等等，我们都曾遇到过。

On the other side of the coin, there are the not-so-nice terms which have gained popularity. ’Ghosting’ is the practice of ignoring someone to fade them out completely.

另一方面，也有一些不那么友好的词语开始流行起来。“玩失踪”是指完全无视对方，直至他们完全淡出自己的生活的一种分手方式。

Benching’ is the new ’ghosting’

“坐冷板凳”则是一种新型“玩失踪”

According to New York Magazine’s Beta Male , there’s now a new way to describe potential suitors being absolutely horrible to us.

据纽约杂志贝塔男性称，现在有种新的方式来描述那些潜在追求者对我们的恶劣行径。

Jason writes how he would receive texts from the man he was seeing but when it came to meeting up and going on dates, plans always seemed to miraculously fall through.

Jason在文中写道，他经常收到某人的短信，然而一旦提出见面或约会，计划总会莫名其妙地泡汤。

It wasn’t until he found himself inadvertently doing the same to another person that he realised what was going on.

直到有天他无意间发现自己也对其他人做了同样的事，他才意识到是怎么回事。

Jason compares it to a sports team. While this person doesn’t quite know if they want to date you (or ’play in the team’, so to speak) they don’t want the possibility of dating you to disappear forever.

Jason把它比喻成一个运动队。当对方还不确定是否想和你约会（或者比如说不确定是否想“加入运动队”），他们也不想永远丧失和你约会的可能性。

So he or she puts you on the bench while they make their mind up.

因此，他或她会将你放冷板凳，而他们还在做决定。

They’ll continue to WhatsApp you, like your Facebook statuses, ask you how your weekend was - but they won’t commit to making an effort to actually see you.

他们会继续通过WhatsApp联系你，给你Facebook的状态点赞，问候你周末过得如何-但他们并没打算努力追求你。

Jason says: "It’s despicable, manipulative, selfish behavior — and something we’re all doing."

Jason说：“这种行为是卑鄙、狡猾和自私的-却也是我们每个人都在做的事。”