在工作中遇到情商高的同事（职场上有真正的友谊吗）

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壹

职场友谊为何重要？

Indeed, most of us will be able to think of an instance where a boss has been difficult or a performance review has gone badly and a workplace friend has offered support. Similarly, friends can act as allies and partners who look out for each other and advance each other’s interests.

实际上，我们大多数人都可以想到这样的例子：当老板很难打交道或者业绩评估不顺时，一位职场朋友提供了支持。同样，朋友可以扮演盟友和合作伙伴的角色，他们互相关心，促进彼此的利益。

① ally ['ælaɪ] n. 同盟国；伙伴；助手 vt. 使联合

例句：For America's existing allies in the region, that means helping to usher them out even when their successors are something of a gamble. 对美国在该地区的现有盟友来说，这意味着帮助引导他们走下权力舞台，尽管其继任者的行为仍是变数。

② look out for 照料；寻求；期待；提防

例句：Better than one Fort Knox are many individuals empowered to look out for one another. 比诺克斯堡更有效的模式是，授予广大网民彼此照应的权力。

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Office friendships have always been important to Suzanne Azzopardi, an executive producer of digital global strategy at FremantleMedia. “When you start at a company, you find people who are similar to you and understand you,” she says. “Work is often the place where you spend more time than any other and you need people you can share confidences with or lean on.”

对FremantleMedia数字全球战略部门的执行制作人苏珊娜•阿佐帕尔迪(Suzanne Azzopardi)来说，办公室友谊总是很重要。她说：“当你刚进一家公司的时候，你会发现和你志趣相投、理解你的人。办公室往往是你呆的时间最久的地方，你需要有人可以分享秘密或依靠。”

Work friendships can also be very intense, Ms Azzopardi adds, especially when you are young — you may end up sharing accommodation or even your lives with colleagues. Years later she is still in touch with some of them.

阿佐帕尔迪补充说，职场友谊也可能非常深厚，尤其是在你年轻的时候——你可能会与同事一起住，或者在生活中有来有往。多年以后，她仍然与其中一些人保持着联系。

③ lean on 依靠；依赖；倚靠

例句："I was afraid to die alone, " she said. "I wanted someone to lean on in my old age. I wanted a child of my own. " “我很害怕孤独终老，”她说，“我想在老了以后有人依靠，想有一个自己的孩子。”

④ accommodation [əkɒmə'deɪʃ(ə)n] n. 住处，膳宿；适应；通融

例句：Then, the answer was unprecedented monetary accommodation, direct support for the financial sector and a dose of fiscal stimulus. 那时的解决方案是实行前所未有的宽松货币政策、为金融部门提供直接支持和一次性的财政刺激政策。

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Sarah Godwin, co-founder of the legal recruitment firm, Law Absolute, started a business with two work friends. “The three of us who founded the company met while working together in the 90s,” she explains. “Over the years, one of the women had been my boss and then, later I’d been hers.”

法律业招聘公司Law Absolute的联合创始人萨拉•戈德温(Sarah Godwin)与两位职场朋友创办了一家企业。她解释说：“我们三人是在上世纪90年代一起工作时相识的。多年来，其中一位女士曾经是我的老板，后来我是她的老板。”

Starting a company with good friends, she says, has been a real plus. “There’s a really nice cohesive culture and a lot of trust. That filtersdown through the business.”

她说，与好友一起创办公司真的很棒。“公司会有非常好的文化，有凝聚力，彼此非常信任。这渗透到整个企业当中。”

⑤ filter ['fɪltə] vt. 过滤；渗透 n. 滤波器；筛选

例句：But he said only about 10 e-mails a day made it through to his inbox, because of anti-spam technology that filters the messages. 但是鲍尔默表示，每天只有大约10封邮件能够进入他的收件箱，因为反垃圾邮件技术过滤了垃圾信息。

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贰

职场友谊潜在的缺点

While some friendships endure and even enhance your career, others are more situational and, when one of you leaves, it is quickly apparent you had only work in common.

虽然有些友谊可以长久不衰，甚至有助于你的职业发展，但也有些友谊会随着形势变化，当你们当中的一人离开时，很快你就发现，你们显然只是共事过。

⑥ situational [sɪtjʊ'eɪʃənəl] adj. 环境形成的；情境的

例句：Economists are expected to explain human behaviour in terms of situational factors and not to compete with preachers and politicians. 经济学家的职责是从情境因素的角度解释人类行为，而不是与传教士及政治家一争高下。

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“It’s a bit like when a normal friend moves to a different part of the country,” says John Lees, author of How to Get a Job You Love. “If it’sgenuine, the friendship will endure when they go.”

“这有点像一个普通朋友搬到国内不同的地方，”《如何获得你喜爱的工作》(How to Get a Job You Love)的作者约翰•利斯(John Lees)说，“如果是真正的友谊，即使分开了友情还在。”

Current work friendships have potential drawbacks too. “You need clarity around boundaries,” says Mr Lees. “You might, for example, need to berecused from disciplining a friend.” However, he adds you can sometimes be blunter with a friend than you can be with someone who is merely a colleague.

当前的职场友谊也有潜在的缺点。“你需要清楚界限在哪里，”利斯说，“例如，你可能需要回避惩戒训斥朋友。”然而，他补充说，与普通同事相比，你有时可能会对朋友直言相告。

One of the biggest pitfalls that can happen with colleagues whose company you enjoy is the question of what happens when a close friend gets promoted ahead of you. As the essayist Gore Vidal apparently put it: “Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.”

与你志同道合的同事可能出现的最大隐患之一，是在你的密友先于你升职时会发生什么。正如散文家戈尔•维达尔(Gore Vidal)所说的那样：“每当有朋友获得成功时，我身上的某种东西就会消失一些。”

⑦ genuine ['dʒenjʊɪn] adj. 真实的，真正的；诚恳的

例句：It would be easy to tell if it were easy to identify all genuine news. 如果我们能轻易辨别出所有新闻的真假，这个问题会很容易回答。

⑧ recuse [rɪ'kjuːz] vt. (提出某种理由)要求辙换(审判员等)；自请回避；自行取消资格（鉴于利益冲突，法官自行回避案件审理）

例句：Two years ago, when I came to the Bank, I raised the issue of a potential conflict of interest and asked to be recused from the matter. 两年前我来世行上任时，我提出一个潜在的利益冲突问题，要求在这件事上采取回避。

⑨ blunt [blʌnt] adj. 钝的；生硬的；直率的 vt. 使迟钝

例句：After the staff rebellion against Mr Wolfowitz, a blunt and confrontational approach would almost certainly backfire at the bank. 在沃尔福威茨遭到员工群起反对之后，几乎可以肯定，在世行采取生硬和对抗的方式会产生事与愿违的结果。

⑩ pitfall ['pɪtfɔːl] n. 圈套；缺陷；诱惑

例句：Even for an unwary western traveller, it was an avoidable pitfall. 就算是对于一个不小心的西方旅行者来说，这也是一个可以避开的陷阱。

⑪ ahead of （时间、空间）在…前面；早于；领先

例句："China is out on its own, far ahead of the pack, " said James Wilsdon, science policy director at the Royal Society in London. “中国独占鳌头，遥遥领先于其它国家，”英国皇家学会（RoyalSociety）的科学政策主管詹姆斯•威尔斯顿（JamesWilsdon）表示。

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叁

职场友谊总体利大于弊

Thalia Wheatley, associate professor of psychological and brain sciences at Dartmouth College in Hanover, New Hampshire, who has done research on work friendships, says that studies suggest your brain has a way of coping when this happens. “The way you ‘survive’ is you tell yourself that you don’t do exactly the same job as they do,” she explains. “So you might say, ‘they’re in marketing, but if you look at my role, it’s really sales.”

新罕布什尔州汉诺威市达特茅斯学院(Dartmouth College)的心理学和脑科学副教授塔利亚•惠特利(Thalia Wheatley)对职场友谊进行了研究。他说，研究表明，发生这种情况时，你的大脑有一种应对方式。“你‘挺过来’的方式是告诉自己，你做的工作和他们不完全一样，”她解释说，“所以你可能会说，‘他们在搞营销，但如果你看我的职务，我干的其实是销售。’”

A defence mechanism, sure. But one that for many will have an uncomfortable smack of recognition.

这当然是一种防御机制。但是对于很多人来说，承认这一点会有点令人不快。

⑫ smack [smæk] n. 滋味，风味；少量；海洛因 vt. 掴；用掌击 vi. 带有…风味/意味（ of）

例句：Meanwhile, anything that smacks of curbing domestic consumption in favour of international goals is anathema to the White House. 与此同时，任何抑制国内消费以迎合国际目标的行为，都是美国所厌恶的。

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Even so, studies suggest that the net overall result of work friends is positive and without them the office is a very lonely place. “When you talk to people at the end of their working lives,” says Mr Lees, “the thing they’ll often remember is not what they achieved or accomplished, but the friends they made.”

即使如此，有研究表明，职场朋友总体来说是利大于弊的，如果没有他们，办公室就是一个非常孤独的地方。“当你与即将走完职场生涯的人交谈的时候，”利斯说，“你会发现，他们记住的往往不是曾经取得的成绩或成就，而是交过的朋友。”

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